Safari magic

My new Africa life, typical day is as follows... Wake up at 5:30, stretch, peek out the window to see if there are Impala outside, flip on the kettle, scoop Nescafe in a mug, grab the biscuits and coffee and sit on the stairs, listen to the birds, say hello to passers by, watch the elephant up on the hill (if I'm lucky to see him), go inside and start to edit photos and write for a couple hours, pour a third cup, go meet up with David and drive to the village, visit a school or two, take lots of photos, come home, download pics, make lunch, have a fourth cup with biscuits, (maybe add a cup of sav blanc with ice), edit and write some more, make plans for tomorrow, then go wait by the safari trucks to see if there's room to join on the evening game ride.  Not a bad routine at all, and I'm getting to like it a lot!  

We start out at the lodge up on the hill, overlooking the vast plains below and chatting with the other guests as we sip on a iced coffee and (the best) cupcakes (I have ever had in my life).  Then we hop into the safari trucks with our ranger and tracker and off we go into the bush.  We drive around for hours, stopping when we see big and small creatures alike.  The birds here are outstanding, some beyond colorful, and others with the most curious calls.  We sit and look at them while Johnny or Shane tell us stories about their behaviors and how they got their names.  My favorite so far is the Grey Go Away bird, which has a call that sounds like someone is squashing the last bit of breath out of it!  

Then there are some big guys like the buffalo, or as they are called here, Dagga Boys.  We learn that these guys are the most dangerous animals out in the bush due to the fact that they will charge you in a heartbeat with their massive bodies and solid horns.  We also come across a pair of white rhinos grazing in the bushes.  Rhinos are being poached at an immense rate, threatening their continued existence on this planet.  Traditional Chinese Medicine is the main culprit, as they believe the horns can cure anything from headaches to comas.  Yet, they are such a beautiful creature, so ancient in their body engineering, it's hard to imagine someone coming along and torturing these innocent beasts and killing them in the name of medicines that are not even proven to work.  

Farther along the road we watched elephants (eles, as they like to call them here) gracefully move their thick bodies through the trees, we came across a pair of sleeping male lions, we tracked a female leopard, and finished off the day watching a pride of lion in the grass;  two females with eight young ones all peeking up at us with their huge eyes, and round fluffed ears... These little lions are definitely my favorite sighting of all.  Yet, each time I go out I think to myself, "That was my favorite"... Then I see something else and say "No, no, now that was my favorite by far!"   That's the fun of the bush, it's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get.  

Christian Slater

In the 80's, I was in love with Christian Slater.  With his slicked back hair and his soft, raspy voice, I thought he was the coolest guy on the planet... Okay, maybe Johnny Depp was a front runner as well, but Christian, wow, he was who I asked the Weegee board about when I wanted to know who I was going to marry.

So, it figures that my ex future husband also has a piece of his heart here in Ulusaba and Dumphries.  I can just imagine the day when my lovely Mr. Slater was pondering what to gift his friend Richard Branson for his birthday.  I mean, that has got to be one helluva hard gift to think of.  You can't just get the man a coaster set or even a Picasso now can you?  Christian, being the ex man I love, got it perfectly right.  He donated a school, Akani, which means "to build" in the local language Shangaan.  

We visited Akani on our first stop with a group of visitors from the lodges.  It's a beautiful thing to watch people visit one of these schools for the first time.  I watched and snapped photos as the women in the group scooped up any and every child they could, beaming the most exuberant smiles you can imagine, and got lost in their tiny little faces.  

Our second stop was the primary school, Mahlahluvana (ask me to say it when you see me next, it's the most fun word!).  Mahlahluvana means "scattered bones" because there was a tradition of throwing bones down on the ground and reading them to see if that is were you were supposed to build.  Dulini was the first lodge to get involved with the community and build classrooms for Dumphries' schools. David explained to us that even though a school is deemed a "government school", all that means is that it pays for the teachers and for food.  There is no budget for a classroom, supplies, or even toilets. Not many years ago, the classes were just held under a tree.  Pride 'n Purpose came along as well to build another classroom building as well as a computer center where the children have access to the internet. All of the computers were donated by a lodge guest.  We learned from David just how important the relationship is between the lodges and P'nP.   "It is very special, the working together" he tells us as we drive through the village on our way back to the gate.  He hopes to build relationships with more lodges in the future, but for now there are just two, with one more on the horizon.  Personally, I feel it would be a vital part of any visit to the area.  And, after all, the Shangaan people are the most welcoming and friendly people in South Africa.  They are well known for their hospitality, friendliness, and consideration for others.  I'm not surprised to hear this, as each person I've met from here is an absolute gem of a human being.  It's a beautiful thing to walk on the stoop to offer an iced tea to the man who is weed whacking, share conversation, and feel a true human connection; feel genuine smiles from the woman who works in the spaza (food store) when you see her dancing and singing out at night in the bush; wave and say hello to each person who walks past during the day and see the kindness in their eyes. Here, I feel connected, even though I am still so foreign and have so much to learn.  But I do, and forever will, love and respect the Shangaan people, how they appreciate life to the fullest, and how they make me feel welcome in their world.  

And oh, that yellow hand print below, that is Christian's, and that is my hand on top.  See, the Weegee didn't lie, we were meant to be hand in hand.  

Ntseveni school

Today, it was just Charlie and I.  He met me at the gate and drove me to three different schools in Dumphries.  My mission was to take photos so that we can start to rebuild the collection of photographs which had all been lost this past year.  It was also to say hello and see how things are going.  

The first school was Ntseveni Day Care, where I met the lovely Miss Sandra.  She took me around the two areas of her school, showing me the various class rooms and explaining the history of how each part has come to be.  It opened in 2005 with just one tiny brick building that had to hold over forty students. That small space is now used as storage and an office.  I couldn't believe that within those cramped walls used to be a classroom of 40!  She told me how Africa Foundation helped out around 2011 and built a larger classroom and also proper toilet facilities.  "Before that,"  she explained, "we had to just have buckets down on the ground with seats and we had to make a cover around them." Then P'nP came and helped to build another classroom as the school's population started growing, and now they have also added another which is just awaiting more furniture and school supplies.  Ntseveni has nine staff, and about 175 children.  I learned they get paid 1,000 Rand per month, which in US dollars is equivalent to about $100.  The children's 100R tuition helps pay for this, but it is still not enough to have food for them when they are at school.  Sandra shows me a small brick hut which is half finished, "That is where we want to stock bread so that the children can eat when they are here, but we have not been able to finish it, and we don't know when it will be done."  30R is enough to buy bread for the whole school, she tells me, but even if a truck full of bread arrived, there would be no place to keep it.  When I asked Sandra what she felt they needed most right now, the first thing she said was "a kitchen."  She pointed over to the brick wall where a woman was hunching over a pot and continued, "It is difficult to cook in the rain, we need a kitchen with a roof."  Other than these things, the school is alive and bustling with smiles and playful little bodies everywhere.  They have two lovely play areas, one which was built by the Virgin Unite crew two years ago, and the other which was donated by Pn'P.  They smile, laugh, and look at me curiously.  As I signed the guest book when I left, I noticed that I was the first visitor since November. Sandra says to me with hope in her eyes, "I would be so happy if you came back..."  I would be too, and hope that I do.    

Tambo

On our visit yesterday around the village, David shared a lot of information with us about the local people, traditions, and history.  One of the things I found most interesting is that there are no orphanages here. There are many children without parents, yes.  But they do not believe in taking these kids and pulling them from their homes to put them in a different, separate home that labels them as orphans.  

When the Sabi Sand reserve was created, somewhere around 90 years ago, the people here were living amongst the animals, co existing as they had done for millennia.  When the National Parks Act was created, the local landowners were excised from the land and they were moved to villages that were contained outside the perimeter of the game reserve.  The government still gives each family land.  If the parents both die, the children stay on their land and their extended families and neighbors watch out for them.  David tells us that everyone is your mom or your dad here.  "My dad's brother is my dad as well, I call him 'dad'."  Families are very tight, yet they cannot support more children financially, so that is where community outreach comes in.  Pride & Purpose makes sure that these children are taken care of, both financially and emotionally.  

When we met the class at Akani primary school yesterday, one of the teachers Flores told me that the little girl I was playing with was an orphan.  "Her name is Tambo, she has no parents."  She told me.  It's hard to contain just how many children are burrowing into my soul here.  Tambo is definitely added to the list with her sweet demeanor and playful spirit.  As Sue told me last week, (the woman who has adopted two children from the villages and lives in the city) "It is actually quite difficult for white people to adopt black children here.  They like to keep them with their own culture and traditions."  At first, I was taken aback by this, but she went on to explain, "The cultures are just so different," she says "their food, their language, it's like adopting a child from Mexico for you, just completely different."  As much as I see this point, I guess I'm more immune to the 'culture shock' because of how we in America tend to adopt outside our culture more often than not.  I was more surprised at the fact that the government made it difficult for anyone to adopt, seeing as there were so many orphaned children in the country.  As a friend of Sue's told her, "Sue, if you had ten bedrooms, you would adopt ten children!"  I am getting to know how she feels... If I could, I would buy a school bus and load it up with these precious little guys and gals and drive it all the way back home.  

Sundowners

It's so beautiful, sundowner time.  I pull my chair out in front of my thatched roof home, pour a heap of ice and some white wine into my favorite goblet glass, and just feel the breeze, watch the sun set behind the koppie (hill), and listen to the local music start to sound from the round of staff housing across the way.  Birds swirl above, sprays of chatter and occasional bursts of laughter fill the air, and I sit in complete adoration of where I am in this special place in time.  The sisters have left this afternoon for the lodge above, so I am alone in this place tonight, as I will be for the next week ahead.  I find peace and a good solitude in it, able to sit and write, edit, think, ponder, appreciate... I miss my ladies (and young gents), but I am happy to have this time for my mind to release, and to sit in my own thoughts for awhile.  There are plenty of people surrounding me in this village, about thirty some-odd tiny homes, so I feel very comforted and safe.  

This morning I went along with David Khoza as he took some lodge visitors around Dumphries to show them what Pride & Purpose does in the community.  There were a couple women and their daughters from Brazil as well as an American newlywed couple from New York.  We visited a few schools, played with the kids, and learned a lot about this area, its history, and the people.  The rest of the day I spent in my new home editing photos and catching up.  The following is a little collage of some of my favorite captures from the past week.  I hope you enjoy... And, thanks again for following this journey, it means a lot to know I am writing to friends.  Much love, s.  

Tizameleni

Today we headed out farther into the village to visit the school which our fellow volunteer Kerrie has funded, Tizameleni.  Kerrie is here with her two sisters, Helene and Adrienne, along with Helene's two amazing teen aged sons, Finn and Callum.  She fell in love with Ulusaba over three years ago while on safari and has since returned three to four times a year from England.  Her heart is totally enmeshed in this place, both with the children and with the wild life.  "The first time you hear a lion roar,"  she says "you are a changed person forever."  

The day today was hot.  The feel factor was close to 45 degrees, and the ladies were painting in the direct sun at noon.  It was scorching, but they wanted to finish before they leave tomorrow morning for the lodge.  Jen, who works at the lodge down the road, Leopard Hills, also came with today, and will be my partner for the next week.   We'll be returning daily to Tizameleni to help the teachers create lesson plans and get a program going for the new school.  She set up a hand painting station, and I helped funnel the kids in to mash their hands in trays of green, yellow, and blue paint, and transfer their colorful fingers onto a sheet of paper.  Their little eyes wide with confusion, as they were a bit baffled as to why these white women were dipping their hands in paint and squashing them down.  Of course, in true Shelly fashion, my radar set on one little girl who stole the very core of my soul.  I found out later that her name is Tabile.  She has the most infectious laugh, and that together with the dimple on her left cheek officially made her the cutest child on the planet...or at least in Africa.  

At first, when I found out that the sisters were leaving tomorrow and I would be by myself here at Dagga Boys for the rest of my stay, I was a little freaked out.  But today it all came together... Jen and I will be partners in crime for a few days, David Khoza (the other host of Pride & Purpose) and I will also be pairing up so that I can go around to all of the projects here taking photographs, I have so many portraits yet to take, and so many people to hand cameras to... I feel like I have only a blink of an eye to squeeze in all I want to accomplish.  There is no place on earth I'd rather be right here, right now.  I am truly blessed! 

Kids will be kids...

I wasn't expecting to begin the project yesterday, it just naturally happened.  While interacting with them and taking their photos, they all want to see the picture on the back of the camera.  They pose, then run to you and grab at your camera to see.  I showed them that the little arrow is the button you push to see your photo, and instantly had twenty little fingers all over searching for it.  They see their photo, giggle, squeal, and then run back to take more.  I found myself turning to one child, Danelle, and putting the strap around her neck.  I showed her where the button was to take the picture, "Push here" I said, she said "La", which I gather means "here", and within two seconds, she had it down.  She looked at me with wide eyes that she now had control of the camera, smiled, and ran to her friends to take their photos.  This happened with about ten children, then I ran to my bag to pull out my little green camera (which is about 1,000 times less expensive!) and let them pass it around.  The following photos are what they did on their very first day of taking photographs.  It was so fun to see them pose like little models with their friends, I saw their attitudes come out as they tried to put their most serious faces on to look cool.  Turns out, kids are kids, no matter if they live in the big city or in the bush.    

Familiar little faces.

The minute I stepped off the truck and onto the community center playground, I see a little body running towards me, her arms wide open as she barrels right into me with a hug.  It was my sweetest little girl from last year, I recognized her straight away.  She wore a red and white polka dot dress the last time I saw her, today she had a denim one on.  I said to her, "I remember you!  You have a beautiful red polka dot dress."  She nodded, I couldn't tell if she understood me, but she looked up at me and smiled with those big brown eyes and bald head.  She squeezed me again, then grabbed my hand.  Yes, I was back. This is what I had been waiting for.  

Then the others started running in, one by one, I searched their little faces to see if I recognized them too.  Yes!  There was the little guy that gave us all those cool arms-crossed poses last year, and the girl from the balloon shot, and then the cutie that had stickers all over her face... I was so happy to see them, I hugged as many as I could and then felt the insane smile overcome my face as they all piled around me, I didn't have enough hands for them to grab.  

As I looked around the community center, I saw the swings still standing proudly that Steve and Ted built, the play set we put together was crawling with children, the trampoline was dug into the ground (and had only just ripped last week, Lindsay told me, which I was astounded by due to the number of kids on that thing at any given time!), the garden we planted was overgrown but lush.  I walked over to the swing set and started brushing off the dirt around the cement at the end of the poles.  We had all carved our names there last year, and I wanted to see them appear for me again.  Steve... Ted... 2012... How sweet it was to see our names and remember the day we all kneeled around and celebrated our friendships and our time at Dumphries.  

We spent the next couple hours painting a beautiful mural on the side of the building, the three other women volunteers are Michelangelo incarnate, I swear!  In between (probably more honestly, most of the time),  I wandered out and around to find the children and take photos, cuddle, and play.  I gave them my camera and showed them how to take a photo and also how to see it, and especially how to make sure the strap was around their necks!  One after the other took turns being photographer, and in seeing their excitement and pride in being able to take a photograph themselves, I knew that this trip was destined to be.  As we left Dumphries, they ran after our backie (pick up truck in SA) waving goodbye and squealing.  What a beautiful sight.  The following photo was taken by a boy called Shade, a star photographer has just been born.  

First morning in Ulu

I've been dreaming of the early morning sunrise in Ulusaba for the past year and a half, longing to sit on the stoop with my Nescafe and breath in the African bush air.  The mornings here are precious, there is a golden hue on everything, bird's songs are all around you, the air is calm and peaceful.  Then the lodge workers begin to stir and you see beautiful people walk past speaking in a language you've never heard, they turn to me and smile & wave, greeting me with a "Good morning, how are you?"  I love how everyone says hello, everyone waves.  

We are going to the village this morning at 8:30 to work until the sun gets too hot, probably around 1 pm. The community center is getting a coat of paint and a mural, I look forward to being back there to see how it looks a year later.  Lindsay told me the trampoline just broke, which I was amazed about because there are always at least ten kids pouncing on it at any given time.  

I laugh at how it took me six days to get here, but it was worth every minute.  The journey here was epic, meeting beautiful friends on the flights, reconnecting with a special soul in Jo'burg, being taken in by a lovely woman in Nelspruit, and getting a ride the last two hours to Ulu, seeing giraffe, elephant, and zebra in our first five minutes inside the gates.  

So much to write, I could be here at my laptop all day long... so for now I'll sign off and go enjoy the morning air some more...  Photos to come later!  

Yellow moon arriving

Whenever I am anxious or afraid of a future journey, I just need to think back to this day. 

What amazing people I've met so far, and it's technically only the first 'day'... Even though it must have been two at leas.  I mean, I've eaten four dinners, slept three times, had five rounds of wine-bubbly, watched two movies and all of the latest season of The Mindy Project (which, by the way, I believe is the best show on non-tv, and not only do I have a girl crush on her, but find myself actually wanting to BE her.  Well, maybe not, but I do love the show.)  Anyways, this kind of adventure is what I live for.  Starting off, I thought this journey was going to be so long and so difficult, until I would finally reach my destination of Ulusaba.  What became clear over the past 24 hours, and what I probably knew deep down to begin with, is that the journey really IS the magic, not just the destination.  Meeting Nicole from Melbourne in the stand by line and loving her to bits and pieces, laughing out loud in the Etihad lounge amongst the room full of austere men, having Peter the barman run over to keep our glasses full and snap shots of us with our iphones, waiving a cheerful goodbye to everyone as I bolted out the door, running late because I couldn't tear myself away from the fun we were having with conversations about travel, life, growing up, and being kindred spirits;  the luck of being seated next to another Nicole from the US/Portugal/Brazil on board the flight, (she was supposed to be working the flight but had a cold soar, and had to call out sick because of the strict appearance standards that Etihad holds) chatting about the flying life, Abu Dhabi, and adventure;  striking up conversation with Jason, a native South African from Durban who's job is to deliver boats across the seas and was on his way home until his next assignment;  feeling the camaraderie from the beautiful mixture of international souls that made up the flight crew, all of us finding ways to send little treats to each other...chocolates, bubbly, tea, stories...

I'm so excited to be in South Africa when I step off the plane, happily far away from everything familiar for the next three weeks, surrounded by possibility.  Away from the usual, my heart beat is energized by the little gems of each turn.  I feel wonderfully vulnerable and open, yet admittedly still slightly nervous.  This is a good beginning, and I cheers this last glass of bubbly as I watch the deep, yellow moon outside the window as the faint lights of Africa start to appear below.  Hello again...

The Africa Project: An overveiw

For all of you who are wondering about what I'm doing this month, here's a little glimpse!

As most of you know, last year I was beyond blessed to have been chosen to represent Virgin on an ambassador/mission trip to South Africa.  Little did I know how much I was about to fall in love... The week I spent in Africa was one of, if not the, best week of my life so far.  They say once you go to Africa, a bug bites you, and you will forever dream of returning.  This happened to me in 2005 during my first time there where I spent a month in & around Cape town.  There is indeed something special and unexplainable about it.  I could go on & on, but I'll cut to the chase and share with you my project for 2014.  

I'll be returning to Ulusaba, Richard Branson's private game reserve about eight hours drive from Johannesburg.  

As they did last year, the amazing charitable organization Pride & Purpose will be hosting me, and I am really excited to see everyone again!  My purpose in returning is to embark on a photo project that in turn helps the people of the surrounding village of Dumphries.  I'll be bringing cameras down to teach a bit about photography and how to capture their world using the lens.  I will curate a collection of their photographs to come up with a gallery that we will hang at their community center (which we helped put together last year!)   Visitors from the lodge will have the opportunity to purchase these one of a kind pieces of art, and the money will go directly back into the community. Additionally, I'll be taking portraits of the people who live in the village, as well as the volunteers and staff, and creating a photo documentation of life in & around Ulusaba.  I plan to put together a show back here in San Francisco, and send the proceeds to Pride & Purpose.  

Pride & Purpose

Many people might ask the question, "Why do you have to go so far to volunteer?  Why Africa?  Why not right here in your own backyard?"  I've contemplated this question a lot, and what I have some to realize is this:  When you are far away from anything familiar and comfortable, you really have the chance to sink in to what you are doing.  There are no distractions, no Facebook events to attend, no sunny day at Dolores Park to play hookie for, no checking your phone every five minutes for texts.  Your soul gets to really be there, and with that, it gets a little shake up, your senses are heightened, you actually feel yourself living every moment.  This is just my own experience, but it is pretty powerful.  

Returning for this project makes my heart skip.  I am nervous, I have expectations for myself that may or may not get realized, I don't know exactly what I'm doing... But it feels good to be afraid and go anyway.  I have an idea of what I am going for, but I look forward to it morphing into something totally different.  Richard Avedon said, "You have to be surprised for it to be magical."  

If you would like to contribute to this project, please donate to my Indiegogo campaign at http://igg.me/p/623317/x/1052876.  The money I raise will go towards my travel expenses (airfare, bus, cost to check baggage-photo equipment, etc), software for photo editing, and time & cost of preparing the art shows both in Ulusaba and SF.  Each person who contributes will be gifted with an original 8X10 or larger print from Dumphries.

I thank you all tremendously for all of your support, & cheering me on!  I couldn't do this without all of your encouragement.  

Day One of the Africa Project!

First leg of my journey, and already it has taken me on swings and dips that have taught me my first lesson.  Loosen the grip. 

As I sat in the passenger seat last night on my way to SFO, Rob asked me, "So, are you excited?"  I realized that I wasn't really showing signs of being so, and admitted that I was just anxious about making all of my flights and worried that things would go haywire.  I was flying standby the whole way, and I had an incredible amount of luggage, at least for my standards.  Was I getting myself in too deep?  Should I have left the lighting equipment at home?  Were they going to let me on with my heavy carry-ons, or my  batteries?  I couldn't relax through these beginning stages of nerves.  After all, I had been planning this in my head for over a year, and the day had finally come.  I was actually doing this crazy adventure, and my self doubts were creeping in.  I had planned, yeah, but not really.  I've never been one to outline an idea, make bullet points and excel sheets, budget, or line all my ducks up in a row.  No, unfortunately for my sanity, I am the fly by the seat kind, trusting that things will fall together if I just lay down the right pseudo foundation, and I believe that things morph anyways so why plan too strictly? This doesn't fare well for stress when things come down to the wire. 

So, it didn't help when the first flight I had booked was full and I had to come back home, tail between my legs.  But worse, I had a little devil appear on my shoulder whispering that this is how the whole trip was going to go now.  I found myself talking to it, agreeing that maybe I should just scrap the whole thing, I mean, it was so far to go, and did I really know what I was doing, and I am just getting over being sick, and... On the BART ride home, I WhatsApped my friend Luke in Abu Dhabi, pleading to see if he could find out more certain flight loads from AUH to JNB.  He calmly and lovingly told me that it was still up in the air as to what would happen, but hey, if I got stuck there I could stay with him and have a fun visit.  All of the sudden the little devil disappeared into a poof of thin air as I texted back to Luke. "Well, la aventura es la aventura!"  It's all an adventure.  And with those words, I found my excitement.  Because now it was not about succeeding or failing, getting thrown off path or having plans work out perfect, it's about the adventure.  This is MY adventure that I created and nurtured, and now I get to step into the vision and just see.  Just see what beauty walks with me, just see how I feel in this place, just see about me, and feel the emotions that only come by stepping out of your comfort zone.  I still have expectations, hopes, and fears, but they are all enveloped now by the excitement of possibility.  And that's what is making my heart beat with excitement today as I soar above the country on the way to my first stop:  New York.  

Epilogue, Portrait Project.

As i was walking down the street the other day, my mind flinched,  I felt oddly naked, empty handed, and startled, realizing that i did not have my camera anywhere on me.  It was the first time in over 70 days.  I reached for it, almost gasping, then remembered my project was over and I was taking a break.  It was a nice feeling knowing that my compadre and I had become so close, yet it was also sad because I missed the edge that my project gave to each day.  Some days, I sigh a breath of relief knowing that I am not responsible for creating anything today.  Other days, I see people on my path who I desperately want to photograph, but instead just watch closely out of the corner of my eye and admire.  I wonder if this project got seeded deep enough in me to release the grip of fear that I was holding onto for so long.  I hope so.  I think right now, in the first week after, I am just taking deep breaths and appreciating what I accomplished.  I look back and see how the project was not exactly as I had planned, with glitches and bumps, and I am so incredibly blessed for that because in the words of one of my inspirations, Richard Avedon, "If you get what you expected, then it's a failure.  You have to be surprised for it to be magical."  Yes, Mr. Avedon, indeed it was magical.  I learned a lot about myself, not only as an artist, but as a person.  I came across triumphs, and I also sulked at my failures.  Over all, I not only got a portrait of 70 different people out there, I also got a portrait of myself and how my mind spins around inside my head.  

I really have to thank two people who directly and indirectly were responsible for my leap of faith to do this project in the first place:  Rob Novotny, and Scott Finsthwait.  Scott, for inspiring me with his '100 days of abstracts' project that he was creating when I first met him, and for always being my biggest fan.  And my dear Rob, who, when delving into our friendship, was my doorway to being able to talk of my dreams and fears with candor and rawness, and who encouraged me to take a risk.  

So, this project is officially "over", but it will remain with me every day, and I am already feeling the tingling of a follow-up project soon...  Thanks so much for everyone who tuned in daily to read the latest.  I absolutely loved hearing your feedback and feeling your support!  Mwuah!!! 

New Year's Eve, and the last portrait of my beautiful project

January 31st, and I needed a spectacularly sexy wig to bring in the New Year.  Living in San Francisco, I am lucky to have a plethora of choices.  After reading all of the reviews on Yelp and mapping out my closest options, I chose Helen's wigs on Divisidero.  When I walked in the door, it was like Candy Land!  Different colored wigs lined every inch of the walls, I was wide eyed and probably even let out a little gasp.  Then I saw movement from behind the counter and a round, inviting face smiled at me to ask if she could help.  "I'm looking for a long, red wig", I said, and just then my eyes fell behind her and I knew it was the one... "That one!  Can I try that one on?"  "Sit"  she said, as she motioned to the beauty station made up of a simple chair, brush, and hair dryer against the large mirrored wall.  With one swoop, she had my hair tucked into a wig cap, and then she wrapped my dirty blonde head with beautiful red lockes.  The bangs were a bit off, so she took the hair dryer and blew them down, then cut some of them to make it look just right.  I felt like I was at the salon.  We both looked in the mirror and smiled huge, and immediately I glimmered as I said "Yes, this is the one, I'll take it!"  She seemed as excited as I was, and after I snapped her photo, she was glowing as much as I was as well.  I'll be back to Helen's time and again... Maybe I'll even go there sometime instead of the salon, because you can walk out of her tiny little shop feeling like a movie star, and you don't even need it to be New year's Eve.  

69 chopsticks!

Last week when I was out on a run in Dallas, I brought my small Fuji camera with me tucked inside my sleeve, in hopes that I might run into good photo op along the way.  Towards the end of my run, I came across a few road workers who looked interesting, and I contemplated stopping for a shot as I ran past.  "I can get them on my way back"  I told myself, cooking up some nerve to ask them while I rounded the corner and ran to the edge of the housing complex.  On my way back, I saw them once again but I was paralyzed with fear.  I made a deal with myself, "Say 'yes' right now out loud, and I HAVE to stop and ask."  I agreed to myself, but as I came closer, I felt a cat tugging hard at my tongue, and all of the sudden I was gliding past them, almost in slow motion, watching my photo op dissipate in the humid, Texas air. 

'What does this have to do with the lady and the noodles, Shelly?'  Oh yeah, right.  Well, Bridget and I went out for Pho this evening and got so wrapped up in conversation that I almost forgot about my portrait of the day.  She looked up and saw this little old lady setting the tables and said, "Shells, get her for your portrait!"  I shook my head, "Aww, she's adorable, but that would be wierd, right?  I mean, she'll think I'm a nut just walking up to her and asking her for a photo..."  Bridget looked at me with a stare that screamed at me for caring what others would think.  "I'll go to the restroom, and on my way back I'll pass by her...maybe I'll ask."  I felt my Dallas run coming back to me now, and I didn't want to walk away defeated again.  Knowing that if i said "yes" out loud, I would have to get some cojones, I took a deep breath and uttered the word there in the stark bathroom stall.  "Yes."  There, it was done.  There was no turning back.  I came out with my camera around my shoulder, I adjusted the settings to what I thought would be correct for the light, and I walked with purpose.  After stopping to cringe at Bridget for a moment, I turned and walked around the partition, said hello to the little old lady, smiled, and asked if I could take her picture.  She was very shy, but smiled back and touched her hair as if to primp for me.  I asked her to pick up some chopsticks, so she grabbed two.. I said, smiling big, "No, no!  The whole bunch!"  She smiled even bigger and took a huge handful, looked at me, and gave me her best pose.  When I showed it to her, she giggled and blushed, and in her broken English said "thank ayou, ahthank ayou!"  With the fuzziest of hearts, I waived goodbye and wrapped my arm around Bridget as we walked away, and said to her, "Thank you...thank you..."  

"Roommates" with 68

When I returned from my trip I was expecting to have an empty house, pour a night cap, and crawl into bed.  To my delight, I opened the door and found Brandon and Dorothy on the couch.  Although I only have one roommate, Amy and I often invite our friends to come hang with the kitten units while we are out traveling.  Brandon and Dodo are buddies.  I found them snuggling together sweetly, and I happily changed out of my uniform and joined them.  We poured some chardonnay and stayed up for hours catching up and sharing stories of our week & talking of our New Year's plans.  

I lived on my own on top of a beautiful mountain for seven years, knowing that my little studio would be exactly as I left it when I walked in the door, it was peaceful and calm.  I was afraid to leave my nest and take my chances living with another person in the city, thinking that it would be a step backwards, worrying about getting in each other's way.  What I found instead is that living with someone, sometimes more than one someone, actually makes me feel more grounded, more peaceful.  You don't know what you'll get when you walk in the door, but it keeps the most beautiful thing about life alive:  Change.  Yeah, I still have fantasies of living in my own spacious loft in Williamsburg, but even in those dreams I am surrounded by other breathing beings who are filling me up with life.  

67th portrait of the day: Crew love

Camile had never been to the Fort Lauderdale layover hotel before, so when we arrived at dawn from our redeye, Josh was excited to show her the amazingly sexy pool.  We all dropped our bags in front of the breakfast buffet bar, and rushed to the stairwell which led us up in between the clear walls, shimmery water shining down and around us on all sides.  It was a stormy morning, winds gusting, so we made it quick. I pulled out my camera to get a shot before we ran back to our bananas, muffins, and chocolate croissants, and realized that it was all fogged up.  It had been in my bag on the floor near the galley door on the airplane, which, for those of you who don't know, is the coldest place on earth.  Cool thing is, it gave us this great halo effect.  

66: Daniel the fair guy

We arrived to the Fairmont late tonight, it was almost 11 pm.  There was a wedding in the lobby so it was obnoxiously loud and frantic as we walked in to the ballroom lit with Christmas lights and ginger bread houses.  I was thinking to myself:  "God, I don't want to come back down here...but I have to."  This was my first time staying here and as I walked into the room, my eyes lit up at the beauty of it, the wallpaper was exquisite, the art work on the walls were stunning, I even had my own dressing table with a gorgeous creme colored bench.  I set down my brush and make up bag and looked forward to getting ready there tomorrow.  It crossed my mind to stay in...but only for a moment.  I could not miss my portrait today.  I threw on a pair of sweats and sandals, packed my camera into my satchel, and walked determined down the hall to the elevators, hoping I would miraculously stumble upon a photo subject in the hallway so that I wouldn't have to leave the hotel.  Yes, tonight this project was a burden, but I had to shake it off and remind myself that it's about the adventure of it all, not just the photograph.  

I walked outside, and oh my lord!  It was much colder than I had expected!  Again, I hoped I could snap and run.  No such luck as I wandered through the animated Christmas festival that was happening just outside the door.  But then I noticed the carnival just across the street, there were lights flashing everywhere, floods of people gathering around the rides and games, and I thought "I'm in luck now!"  My feet were freezing off, as I had open toed shoes, and all I could think was that I was going to catch a cold trying to get this shot tonight.  I ventured on, determined, but then I felt a slight curl in my lip.  I found myself smiling at the scenes around me, flashbacks of carnivals from my childhood, and the burden was replaced with gratitude.  I walked up to the ping pong floaty dish toss and stood there watching one of the workers, he was so animated, bouncing around the dish toss pond squeezing a large, round stuffed toy.  We started talking as I asked him questions..."What's the biggest toy you've given out tonight?", "Don't your hands get cold dipping them into the water so much?", "How many days has this been going on?"  He said he's been there nine to ten in the morning till ten or eleven at night every night- oh, except for two- since it opened.  "When did it open?", I asked.  "Day before Thanksgiving, and it goes till January 5th!"  he said proudly.  He said he loved it though, and I thought he meant that he loved the thrill of seeing people come and try their hand at winning every day, seeing the kids play, interacting with the teenagers as they spent all their allowances trying to win a huge white teddy bear.... He clarified for me that "What I'm gunna love is the pay check!".  "Well, what are you gunna do with that pay check?"  I asked bluntly.  "Hmmm"  he pondered, Probably get a Play Station II, that'll be fun..."   I laughed and agreed with him.  In the middle of our chat I realized that I was having fun with this carnival guy and that I was privileged to have the opportunity to get a glimpse into his world.  I walked back across the dozens of Christmas trees and lit up trains with frozen toes, but a warmed up spirit, blessed to have met another soul that only my camera could lead me to.  

65th portrait of the one and only Josh!

"I should have been a child actor..." he said as we sat down on BART on our way home from the airport.  He pulled out his phone to show me photos of himself as a child, "See, look at those glasses, look at that mouth!"  and I just about died laughing, he was the most adorable nerd in the world.  Josh is a wonderful character, full of animation and attitude.  He's one of my work-friends-turned-besties who fortunately lives just two blocks from me, so we get to hang out often.  It's fitting that we rounded out the year by fly together for the last trip of 2013.  Work is an entirely different animal when you are surrounded by ones you adore!  

Christmas 64: Jorge

I actually loved the holidays this year.  I don't always, they tend to be slightly stressful, not to mention the holiday travel & crazy work schedules.  This year, it was a combination of many things that made my holidays happier than I can remember in a long time.  Family was beautiful, work was so much fun, and friends were truly special.  Jorge is a new friend of mine, we've known each other vicariously through others for the past year but have recently decided to become friends for real.  

Christmas morning, my roommate(s) and I woke up and poured mimosas, threw on holiday music, and cooked up enough to feed an army.  We had invited anyone who was in town to stop by and share the cheer with us, but ended up merrily drinking and eating everything ourselves.  We were so excited when Jorge showed up, he was our only guest!  We poured rounds of special hot apple cider and sat outside watching the night light up, trying to remember Christmas pasts, and anticipating the good things in the year to come.  He said this year would be easy to recall, as it was the first Christmas he had not spent with his family.  I'm used to not having my family around on Xmas day, but I was still thinking of them as we sat drinking my mom's magic recipe, and feeling blessed to have this new friend by my side.  

Jorge.